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look, i grew up with the whole 1990s "girl power" movement and i hated it. i hated the push for girls to enjoy and look up to awesome female characters because it just felt like i was being told that i shouldn't enjoy or look up to awesome male characters, with the implication that i could never be awesome in the precise same ways anyway. i was incredibly angry when pokémon crystal first introduced the option to play as a female character because really? i'm playing as a character whose entire world is completely different from my own and you think that their gender of all things is where my ability to suspend disbelief is bound to fail? you think my gender is such a fundamental aspect of me that it can't be overridden by anything else, that something i was born with by sheer coincidence is more important in defining who i am than anything i actually have a choice in? that's what i associate with "girls need female role models". forgive me for not being particularly enthusiastic about it.

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man, stop accusing people of being afraid of change as if that was something to be ashamed of. of course we've afraid of change, in the end we're still primates following the same instincts primates developed millions of years ago! the point you should be appealing to is that unlike most animals, we choose to go against our instincts! i've been doing it for three months, by eating substantially less than i would need to maintain my weight. from the point of view of my instincts, i'm purposely starving myself! from the point of view of my instincts, there's no telling whether there will ever be enough food again! if it's possible to do that without much effort, other instincts shouldn't be that different.

(and for as frustrated as i get with the lack of progress: i've already lost over 15 kg, left triple digits and returned from obese class II to obese class I. all with the motivation of "there will be more clothing to choose from". that's why fat shaming doesn't work and is therefore doubly unjustified, you never know what actually will end up motivating someone. conventional attractiveness obviously wasn't a big point for me. why would it be when i don't even understand this apparent drive to have to be in a relationship...)

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Jul. 15th, 2017

nope, rogue one is still boring fake star wars. please stop doing this kind of thing, disney.

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correction: apparently arsehole kids haven't yet realised that "silence between 10 PM and 6 AM" applies on all days, not just weekdays. i infer from this that they probably also haven't realised it also applies during school holidays.

(though i still think they're just willfully ignoring it. and it will come back to bite them in the arse sooner or later. tenants' rights are strong in germany, but situations like this are one of the few reasons that can ultimately cause you to lose your flat. i hope they lose their flat. i hope their whole family suffers as much disappointment and inconvience as can possibly come out of that. please consider what kind of physical and mental issues constant sleep disturbances can cause. and while i'm currently unemployed, it's not as if i can properly catch up during the day when it's actually perfectly legal for them to scream like idiots at that time. starts up pretty much the moment they come home from school. seriously, when do these cunts sleep??)

(i seriously wonder whether their parents actually believe that there's no way they could ever get into trouble because of noisy children. newsflash, that's only true as long as said children are babies or toddlers, you're expected to do your best to keep them quiet during the night as soon as they're old enough to understand and follow instructions. the offenders are teenagers.)

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i'm playing commander keen 4 and holy fuck it's difficult. how did i beat this when i was eight years old and using keyboard controls?? nevermind the way the game sometimes just forgets that you've already picked up a certain gem when you die and doesn't provide a new one, uugh

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current weight: 100 g more than last monday. even though once again i created enough of a deficit to lose about 1 kg of fat. stupid worthless piece of shit of a body.

(anyone who tells me to ~*love your body*~ is automatically disqualified from having their opinion considered. ~*loving my body*~ won't make my clothes fit better. ~*loving my body*~ won't make a larger range of clothing available to me in the first place. ~*loving my body*~ won't take the weight off my joints. ~*loving my body*~ won't do anything about adult acne that has improved significantly since i started losing weight. ~*loving my body*~ won't negate the fact that i could've cut my starting weight in half and still been considered healthy. "body positivity" has turned into just as much of a toxic, useless mess as modern feminism.)

(and maybe it's a sign i should switch to weighing myself daily. i mean, maybe my weight already was down and i'll never know.)

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it honestly seems like arsehole neighbours routinely leave their children at home alone during the night and therefore are just plain not able to supervise what they get up to (like screaming at their gaming buddies through teamspeak for hours on end and making it impossible for their neighbours to get restful sleep), and i'm so looking forward to all the trouble that could get them into. i mean look, from what i've been able to glean, the two who are causing the problem are 13 and 14-15, and their younger sister is 10 at the very most? it would be okay to leave them alone for one night every once in a while, but not on a regular basis...

what a shining example of people who should not have had nearly as many children as they actually did. they're clearly not qualified for parenting. i mean, i think the reason they're not around every night is because of their jobs and not anything unsavoury, but if your jobs make it impossible for at least one of you to be home with your children every night, they are the wrong fucking jobs. you gave up the luxury of being able to pick the highest-paying job no matter what the working conditions are when you decided to reproduce!

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look at this great TARDIS key. finally found a new one in this size after the old one broke due to being used as a keychain. i don't think this one would, looks to be solid aluminium! not going to risk it though. and of course two days after i decided to cave in and pay 14.90€, the shop started a 20% off sale. oh well.

i sure wish there'd be another theatre event sometime.

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so there's a recentish set of digimon adventure 02-themed digimon figurines that also includes terriermon and lopmon? i'm in favour of this! i'll probably always love movie 3 and therefore love anything that acknowledges its existance. i mean, technically wallace's terriermon had a slightly different colour scheme, the green bits were more of a minty shade than what's depicted here, but i'll take what i can get

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also weird and inexplicable to me - this apparent obsession with preventing and punishing underaging drinking in the US. i'm pretty sure that if i tried to, say, call the police on a 16-year-old because he had a bottle of vodka, they'd just laugh at me! i estimate that he'd end up with a stern talking to and no vodka at worst, if anyone even bothered to show up, it's just far too insignificant to do anything else about! actually i doubt that even that would happen, because the law states that it's illegal for people below 18 years of age to buy hard liquor or consume it in public, not to merely have it in their posession. and despite those generally more relaxed drinking laws, our young adults somehow manage to not all die off in car accidents, hmm

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